No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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