Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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