He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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