I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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