The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
