i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
