so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
