good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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