he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
