i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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