just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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