well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Farmville is her only friend.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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