i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
