So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
