he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
