Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
