shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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