Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize