i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
