I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
