Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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