On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
