When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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