Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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