There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You're like the curious george of whores
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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