I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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