You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
