porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize