the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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