I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
