Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
