At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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