You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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