just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
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