Dual....:-)
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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