i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
