maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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