i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize