he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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