It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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