She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
