Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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