Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
