i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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