He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
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The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
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I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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