i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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