how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All I want is dick and wine.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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