i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
