dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
