I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
