i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
