I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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