Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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