White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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