Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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